An Atheist's Christmas

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I have an unabashed love of Christmas. I love the lights, the decorations, and the decked-out trees. I love buying gifts and the artery-clogging holiday dinners. I love Christmas music (everything from “Little Saint Nick” to “Silent Night”), Christmas specials, and the excitement that surrounds this time of year. I love that it brings my family together and gives them a chance to appreciate and love each other.  Oh, and I’ve never grown tired of that story about the birth of Jesus and the wise men and the salvation of mankind.

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Ethnic! Xmas! Drama! 2011 Edition

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  • In Friday's Globe and Mail, Damage Control columnist David Eddie fielded a question from a Chinese dude with a white fianceé. Her parents keep giving him "themed" Christmas gifts - a rice cooker, a Jackie Chan box set - which makes him feel uncomfortable. His fiancée thinks he should suck it up and so, basically, did Eddie. Unsurprisingly, not everyone agreed.
  • First up: The ethnics are ON IT.
  • “
  • My FAVOURITE G&M "Damage Control" column: "My white in-laws keep giving me 'Chinese' gifts" theglobeandmail.com/life/h... attn: @ethnicaisle
  • Dakshana
  • December 23, 2011 10:47:57 AM EST
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  • “
  • "Last year, my fiancée's family gave me a rice cooker. I'm Chinese-Canadian. They're Caucasian." bit.ly/rQDQ1W (ht @annhui @DakGlobe)
  • Chantal Braganza
  • December 23, 2011 9:03:49 AM EST
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  • “
  • good intentions are overrated. that column is so fucked up. that writer should not be giving advice.
  • anupa
  • December 23, 2011 10:58:22 AM EST
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  • “
  • that G&M column is basically Forbes-lite in the way it completely ignores the reality of being not-white
  • anupa
  • December 23, 2011 10:59:53 AM EST
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  • “
  • it enraged me to read the fiancee saying "get over it." all i could think was "what a horrible relationship"
  • anupa
  • December 23, 2011 11:02:36 AM EST
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  • “
  • WHY IS THE PICTURE ON THE COLUMN A BOWL OF RICE? @dakglobe @ghostfaceknitta
  • anupa
  • December 23, 2011 11:08:56 AM EST
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  • “
  • Should it be two old white folks standing in the bg, out of focus, with Chinese man in front with arms crossed?
  • Dakshana
  • December 23, 2011 11:12:58 AM EST
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  • “
  • @_anupa @dakglobe I cringed when I saw that too. Also, if I were her folks I would've assumed dude already had a rice cooker. I mean, c'mon.
  • Kalpna Patel
  • December 23, 2011 11:13:45 AM EST
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  • Canice Leung breaks it down:
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  • re: "in-laws give asian dude rice cooker/jackie chan dvds" bit.ly/scUXXH ... 1. being cute-clueless is not a defence for being racist
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:24:04 PM EST
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  • “
  • 2. i would be BUMMED if i was marrying into a family, knew them for (probably) years, and still the only thing they saw was my ethnicity.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:24:39 PM EST
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  • “
  • 3. i would really love a rice cooker, but actually. but that's because i love cooking, not because i'm chinese.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:26:22 PM EST
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  • “
  • 4. only a white dude advice columnist would defend that. people can't be forgiven for doing bad things just cause they had good intentions.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:27:54 PM EST
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  • “
  • 5. i am normally a fan of david eddie's writing, which is why this particular piece of advice is even more disappointing.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:28:54 PM EST
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  • Fight! Fight! Fight!
  • “
  • @canice Excuse me? "Only a white dude advice columnist would defend that". ONLY?! Look, stupidity comes in ALL colours, shapes and sizes.
  • Jayson McEwen
  • December 23, 2011 1:29:41 PM EST
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  • “
  • @JaysonMcEwen rephrasing: there are some positions only people of certain privilege/class/race/ethnicity would hold and this is one of them.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:35:28 PM EST
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  • @JaysonMcEwen we're not talking inclusively about 'all stupid things stupid people say' ... this is about giving a rice cooker to an asian.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:36:40 PM EST
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  • “
  • @canice There IS a different/double standard for what YOU (a visible minority) can say, rather than what I (a white man) can say. Deny it?
  • Jayson McEwen
  • December 23, 2011 1:39:42 PM EST
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  • “
  • @JaysonMcEwen plenty of minorities are racist/classist against others, i'll happily point those out if such situations arise in nat'l paper.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:41:27 PM EST
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  • “
  • @JaysonMcEwen then again, i can't think of a minority/woman/etc advice columnist at a canadian newspaper, so it's all hypothetical, innit?
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:43:03 PM EST
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  • “
  • @canice I read the piece in the @globeandmail ... and I know what you're saying. I just ... question the thinly-veiled racism. That's all.
  • Jayson McEwen
  • December 23, 2011 1:43:10 PM EST
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  • “
  • @JaysonMcEwen it's NOT thinly veiled racism. i'm outright positing that a non-white columnist would NOT condone such gift-giving.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:46:46 PM EST
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  • “
  • @canice Good for them. I just didn't appreciate the "only a white dude" comment. Shows me way more than I need to see how you TRULY view us.
  • Jayson McEwen
  • December 23, 2011 1:49:22 PM EST
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  • “
  • @JaysonMcEwen in general, the 'minorities get free pass' complaint is imagined. minorities SEE racism because we LIVE the experience, OK?
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:49:20 PM EST
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  • “
  • @canice I live it too. Don't kid yourself. Racism is NOT exclusive to visible minorities. I "SEE" it too, OK? I "LIVE" the experience too.
  • Jayson McEwen
  • December 23, 2011 1:51:47 PM EST
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  • “
  • @JaysonMcEwen oh, you got me. i hate white people — because i suggested a white person might not understand an asian man's POV.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 2:03:36 PM EST
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  • A word from the Globe:
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  • @canice I'm Dave's editor. You may disagree with the advice (god knows I don't always agree w/ DE), but it did have yellow eyes on it.
  • Kevin Siu
  • December 23, 2011 2:05:23 PM EST
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  • “
  • @canice A colleague pointed out that the fiancee should be working the gears behind the scenes with the parents. I also agree with that
  • Kevin Siu
  • December 23, 2011 2:57:41 PM EST
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  • “
  • @kevinsiu in fairness, i get that social decorum isn't always about being strident anti-oppression police (err unless you're me, apparently)
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 2:16:11 PM EST
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  • On another corner of Twitter:
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  • As a white person I was horrified at David Eddie's advice. Way past time for us to challenge everyday racism.
  • Sara Mayo
  • December 23, 2011 12:58:40 PM EST
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  • “
  • If you "put up with it" now, imagine 10 yrs into the marriage! Better to explain why gifts offend.
  • Louisa Taylor
  • December 23, 2011 2:00:28 PM EST
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  • “
  • I wonder about the context of the situation, though. I'm from Wpg and grew up hearing many people (cont)
  • Dakshana
  • December 23, 2011 2:09:23 PM EST
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  • “
  • ask Qs that were quite well-intentioned...but could seem goofy (cont)
  • Dakshana
  • December 23, 2011 2:10:38 PM EST
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  • “
  • or racist. But it was an attempt learn about my ethnicity. I was their kid's first "ethnic" friend.
  • Dakshana
  • December 23, 2011 2:11:48 PM EST
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  • “
  • But advice was still bad. Take this as opp to talk to in-laws a/b why gifts are inappropriate.
  • Dakshana
  • December 23, 2011 2:13:26 PM EST
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  • And that's your ethnic Christmas drama for 2011. Enjoy the holiday, and see you all next year.

    • “And may all your Christmases be white…”→

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    Also in is Navneet Alang. He’s going to kick back and enjoy a white Christmas. “Mad rushing to get presents? Check. Grand Christmas feast with a turkey and all the trimmings? Check. Indulging in icewine and gorgonzola in front of the fire like they do on those Food TV specials?Super-gluttonous, you-best-believe-it check. Yeah, when it comes to late December, we are the Christmasiest Punjabis this side of a… Gurdwara at the North Pole?”

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    You Can't Make Me: The Grinch Who Endures Christmas

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    Denise Balkissoon wishes she wasn’t so tortured about Christmas, but she is. “My Muslim relatives began to make the religious pilgrimage to Mecca. They became much more devout, and there went half my presents. Meanwhile, my Christian, Hindu and agnostic relatives realized that the size of our family was bankrupting everyone. There went the other half….Soon, putting up the (fake) tree just seemed like work. One year, we decorated a plant in the hallway instead.”

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    Creepin' Your Christmas

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    A half-Jewish Jew, Justine Purcell Cowell just wants in. “How I marveled at the sweaters and make-up that emerged from their magical trees. (And oh, how I borrowed those sweaters, how I shared in the joy of that make-up!)….Hanukkah is not Christmas. It’s the compensatory holiday that Jewish parents give to their children. “

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