How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Talking About Race
/Imagine - a smart, funny way to talk about race.[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbdxeFcQtaU&w=560&h=315]
Music, mental health
/At the Toronto Standard, Anupa Mistry writes about the music therapy program at Across Boundaries, a mental health centre for people of colour.
What to watch at the 2011 Toronto Reel Asian Film Festival
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By Jef Catapang
The Toronto International Reel Asian Film Festival kicks off its 15th anniversary with an opening gala screening of Lover's Discourse tonight at the Isabel Bader Theatre. Directed by Derek Tsang Kwok Cheung and Jimmy Wan, the lush exploration of love and heartbreak is one of our top picks of films to check out this week.
Need help navigating Reel Asian's great program for this year? Check below for a list of five films to catch at the 2011 Reel Asian Festival.
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[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mwfz-jPbIHI?rel=0&w=560&h=315]
Stringing together four Hong Kong tales that run the range from fleeting meet-cute to heavy heartache, Lover's Discourse is a bittersweet look at the addictive properties of love. Combining the rush of Before Sunrise with the slow letdown of In the Mood for Love, the film explores a larger picture of romance while also avoiding abstraction. Some stories will resonate more deeply than others, but all of the characters are wonderfully acted and the entire package is beautifully shot. Features singers Kay Tse and Kit Chan.
Tuesday, Nov. 08, 7:00 pm at the Isabel Bader Theatre
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meZIFgYn-M8?rel=0&w=560&h=315]
A Vietnamese hip-hop dance flick? Sold by the summary! The set-up is the familiar trope of a traditional dancer who moves to the city and encounters hip-hop for the first time, but Saigon Electric's similarity to Hollywood dance flicks ends there. Featuring authentic teens with real b-boy/b-girl skills and a refreshingly insightful class consciousness (this movie isn't about the traditional dancer co-opting hip-hop and learning how to throw-down in a five minute montage), the film is as comfortably real during its lively dance numbers as it is during its quiet character moments.
Friday, Nov. 11, 8:45 pm at The Royal
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QuDL3f8I_Q?rel=0&w=560&h=315]
After the suicide of his son, an absent father tracks down his son's two best friends. Hoping to understand who his son was and why he took his own life, it becomes clear that blame is something easily passed around and that ties with even friends and fathers can be tenuous at best. Though utilizing a challenging time-shift structure, Bleak Night is an arresting film that lives up to its title. Exploring a darker side of high school male friendships, the film is well worth the viewer attention it demands.
Saturday, Nov. 12, 2:45 pm at The Royal
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwTGmks8bAM?rel=0&w=560&h=315]
An oddball animated flick, Piercing 1 is a timely story featuring a disillusioned college grad caught in a world full of scheming businessmen and corrupt officials. Once holding dreams of living large in the big city, Zhang Xiaojun now spends most of his time sitting around smoking cigarettes, gossiping about the success of the others and reminiscing about the simpler countryside lifestyle. From artist and first-time director Liu Jian, the film has visual style and substance to match.
Saturday, Nov. 12, 10:30 pm at The Royal
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqL-p_niM5I?rel=0&w=560&h=315]
Li Yu follows her confrontational Lost in Beijing with Buddha Mountain, a much more reserved film that is nonetheless raw and affecting. Following a tightly-knit group of three burnout friends who end up renting a room from a retired opera singer, the film bounces the trio's dejected worldviews off of the former diva's memories of greatness and tragedy. A trip to the mountainous ruins of the Sichuan earthquake of 2008 leads to realizations that are a bit heavy-handed, but still genuine with beautiful bits of subtlety throughout.
Sunday, Nov. 13, 8:00 pm at The Royal
Shortlist: Full Metal Alchemist: The Sacred Star of Milos and Jump Ashin!
The 2011 Toronto International Reel Asian Film Festival runs from November 8-13 in Toronto at various venues and November 18-19 in Richmond Hill at the Richmond Hill Centre for the Performing Arts. Check the Reel Asian website for more info.
"It's not racist to not be attracted to someone"
/Well, it's not that easy, according to Navneet Alang. It might probably be a bit racist but it's way more complicated than that. First, let's look at the "normal" standards of beauty.
Read MoreThe race box
/Kelli Korducki muses on what race means. Is it about culture or colour? And why are the racial choices on forms so limited?
Read MoreThose teachable moments
/Allyssia Alleyne ruminates on the extra jobs that come with being in an interracial relationship. Jobs like interpreter, ambassador and teacher, and the moments when it's just easier not to explain.
Read MoreGuess Who’s Coming to Brunch?
/Being mixed-race and dating is more than just "oh, you're gorgeous!" and "mixed babies are so cute!" By Adebe DeRango-Adem takes a moment to unpack the baggage of dating and fetishization when dating interracially.
Read MoreChatcan: Jef asks Anupa about dating white dudes
/Jef and I have been friends for a long-time and share the same daffy sense of humour so we decided to team up to contribute a chat post to the Ethnic Aisle's Interracial Dating edition. Here, Jef asks me about dating white guys.
Read MoreShot Through the Heart
/Denise Balkissoon revisits an embarrassing memory of a former boyfriend who not only had horrible taste in jewelry but dragged his racial confusion into their relationship. Don't judge her.
Read MoreFamily Values: Mixed-Race Style
/Renée Sylvestre-Williams says that being from a multi-generation, mixed-race family means not having to deal with race questions. What it does mean is answering the more important ones.
Read MoreEthnichat: DNA Free Flow
/Last Friday, we hosted a Twitter chat on interracial and intercultural dating to kickoff this week's posts. Here are some of the highlights...thanks very much to everyone who participated. Keep reading and commenting!
| “ | Q1: What are your feelings on people who adamantly date only within their own race or culture? #ethnichat Go! | |||
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| “ | Well, for one, not all of us have that luxury. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Up or down it's their decision to make for themselves. It's also potentially their loss if soulmate is heterogeneous #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | When you're mixed, every relationship is an interracial one. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Q2: have you ever been exoticized by a partner/date, how did you know, and how did you feel? | |||
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| “ | Too much focus on ethnic background, had one guy literally say "that's hot" when he found out my mix. Yuck. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Yes, for my body shape. Was told this after we started dating. Felt like an object. It's why relationship ended. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | She said: "I feel so worldly". I wasn't impressed. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Got told I am interesting because I am Indian. Ick. My ethnicity is a part of my identity, not an accessory. #ethnicchat | |||
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| “ | We were making out. Ze took off my glasses and complimented me: "You look less Asian." Really. | |||
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| “ | I find it tiring when they get disappointed when I do something that doesn't jive with their perception of my racial identity. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | white guys i've dated have pretty much been not into white girls, not as an ideology tho. just realizing that now. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | RT @JaeFiasco: Ex was white and his friend said (in my presence) GUESS WHAT I FUCKED A BLACK CHICK! It's a prize to them | |||
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| “ | RT @jooksing as an asian ciswoman, i feel exoticized all the damn time. it's uncomfortable &telling. tho partners dating history says most. | |||
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| “ | RT @jooksing the q for me is: what feels worse: dating some1 who has been with POC or dating some1 who hasn't been w ANY POC. both loaded | |||
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| “ | Yes! There's always that question of which is worse. Non-POC w/ history of dating only POCs - red flag. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Don't think I'd mind someone who hadn't dated a POC before, if they weren't defensive when there were things to be discussed. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Could the race/mix dating preference be more of a physical thing rather than background? #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Ah yes, the age old question - what's wrong with just having a physical preference? It's so loaded. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | I think you can prefer certain characteristics but then you have to ask yourself why #ethnicchat | |||
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| “ | RT @jooksing i think POCs who predominantly date outside their race should also try to deconstruct their internalized racism too #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | But worth looking into, pure bodily response or years of racial brainwashing, yes it's complex. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | I agree, POC do need to think abt internalized racism & dating. Dumb video: Why Brown Girls Like White Guys http://bit.ly/qG0cBM #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | At the base of the debate, it shouldn't focus just on those who date PoCs but choices of the PoCs themselves. | |||
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| “ | I don't think dating outside ur race has anything to do w/ internalized racism. We live in a global city. It happens. | |||
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| “ | Like, you just happen to prefer a certain race? I don't think it's ever that simple. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Ok, Q3: how have your family/friends reacted to your interracial/intercultural partners? #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Positively. They're more concerned about mutual values and whether he treats me well. | |||
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| “ | My grandmother, who was biracial, did tell me she didn't want me dating a black man. | |||
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| “ | They haven't. And ppl always ask "so how was THAT like?" They seem to be anticipating stories of lashings #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | It's strange. We're beginning to see a North America where the basic assumption is one of mixed racial heritage. | |||
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| “ | Her family: Pleased to meet you. My family: MISSION ABORT. My friends: Cool story bro #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | My parents were an interracial couple, but my dad still holds racial prejudices on who his kids should date. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | my parents were surprised he was a Brown guy & not East Asian. (They'd have been more surprised if he was Persian.) #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | @_anupa re: whitebros. i feel weird, but if you're happy that's cool ma. unless u cute. then u need to be with me. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | My parents know and understand it's high unlikely I'll marry someone who isn't Chinese, but have also stated "preferences". :P | |||
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| “ | my parents accepted my white ex but they still managed to show some close-mindedness. I was more nervous of his family though | |||
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| “ | I think my folks were less surprised I dated white girls than the fact I dated girls at all #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Q4: Have strangers commented on your relationship, and if yes, how have you dealt with it? #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Yes, and I've/we've usually responded, "Uhm, how is this of any concern to you?" Their reaction is all butthurt. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Here lies the real debate. There is side-eyeing from some PoCs at interracial couples of their ethnicity @ethnicaisle | |||
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| “ | old indian men death-staring me and my half-black/half-chinese ex in the mall. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | As a teen, dating interracially had me labelled a "coconut" by other POC. I said nothing back then which I regret #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Usually they comment on how cute the babies will be. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Not all mixed race babies are cute. I'm thinking of some of my cousins. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | @alexdao HA that is one of @reneeswilliams pet peeves. We want to do a post on the blog "Ugly Mixed Race Babies." Hahaha. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | I'm not gonna lie, I was a really cute mixed baby. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Side-eye from random strangers (white and black) is fairly common. I've gotten better at ignoring it, but still. #ethnicchat | |||
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| “ | Recently asked: What does your husband look like? Me: He's gorgeous. Silence. Really she meant: "What colour?" Naive am I. | |||
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| “ | Sad. Within the community, criticism & hostility to a PoC dating outside their race is more pointed. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | why do black men act like my boyfriend isn't there? Does being white make him invisible? | |||
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| “ | #ethnichat RT @wesleycase: My friends are 99% white: they either wear (interracial dating) as badge of pride or it makes them uneasy | |||
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| “ | Oh, when I was in Trinidad with my white ex, someone actually HISSED at us on the street in Port of Spain. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Q for @chantalbraganza & other mixies: Did your parents say if they faced prejudice within your extended fam for being together? #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | I've def seen my parents get some side-eye. Took one neighbour 20 yrs (!) to figure out they were married. | |||
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| “ | Like, it was so incomprehensible to this guy that these two people could be a couple #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Eep. Kinda. Not so much for race, but 'cause one fam had established themselves in Canada for a while by that point. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | @ethnicaisle love to hear all this conversation: I came from mixed parents, now divorced. Never really talked about this. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Ok, last q, from @judeinlondon: Do you really think social attitudes towards interracial dating have changed that much? #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | I personally feel less weird walking around than I used to, but that may just be personal confidence! #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | I also think, in Toronto, the constant influx of newcomers might also mean influx of ppl unaccustomed to mixing #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Tough question. I'm going to say, not as much as society likes to think it has. #ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Definitely. It's not ideal yet, but changing attitudes towards race have changed attitudes about i.r. dating too. #ethnicchat | |||
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| “ | compared to when? I think compared to 50 years ago, no doubt. 10 yrs... enh @ethnichat | |||
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| “ | Not sure I want to live in a world where the intricacies of IR dating (& thus my own difference) are all smoothed over | |||
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Teachable Moments: Whimsy
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Anupa (@_anupa) and Denise (@balkissoon) were discussing doing a Teachable Moment on Zooey Deschanel aka the Whimsicallest Girl-Woman Ever. And then, Twitter did it for us.
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"is the word whimsical ever applied to a non-white person?" - @balkissoon
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Willow Smith? No non-white manic pixie dream girls tho. RT @anupa "is the word whimsical ever applied to a non-white person?" - @balkissoon
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@kelkord @anupa @balkissoon Every character from every Miyazaki movie ever = whimsical.
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@_anupa @balkissoon 'whimsical' is how I encrypt 'shitty' in a polite criticism.
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hehehehe RT @balkissoon: @_anupa didn't copy the part where I said "whimsy is a white whord."
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agree with @tcote comment. but are we talking about real people or fictional?
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There was a time when I wanted to write a screenplay about a non-white pixie girl... Got notes some place...
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Lisa Bonet. And Tyra, maybe? RT @_anupa: "is the word whimsical ever applied to a non-white person?" - @balkissoon
There is a missing tweet here, where @RafayAgha says Grace Jones is whimsical. Nice try pretending it didn't happen.
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I totally disagree. Whimsical is not a word I'd use for her at all
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Immediate reference to whimsy goes to Alice in Wonderland which goes to...corporate cannibal?
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@RafayAgha What did you delete? Put it back so I can put it on @ethnicaisle. DO IT.
A Downtowner Eats Her Words
/After coming out in favour of downtown, Renee Sylvestre-Williams stumbles onto a kickass fashion party--in Woodbridge: "Drummers, cage dancers and fire dancers stalked the stage warming up the crowd who happily started whooping and cheering as each model strode down the catwalk. Wine was drunk, cameras flashed and when a shirtless model came out the screams just increased in volume."
Read MoreGet The Ethnic Aisle To Go!
/If you've just started reading us, welcome! (Longtime readers are totally welcome too!) We've collected all our posts during summer 2011 in this handy Kindle edition, where we discuss topics like the times we were racist, how queer pride and ethnicity intersect, and the merits of delicious, delicious "ethnic" foods. Grab your copy and we hope you enjoy your stroll down the Ethnic Aisle. :)
Yes, I live in the suburbs. No, I don't drive.
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Jef Catapang assures us that life in Mississauga without a driver's license is still worth living: "Not caring about cars is one of the many ways I often feel like a downtown spirit living in the suburbs. I like concerts, film festivals and used bookstores and I always thought I would end up living nearer to the core to accommodate my interests. Money issues kept that from happening, but a funny thing happened in the meantime — I started to not hate it here."
Read MoreEthnic Aisle on the Ceeb
/Our own Denise Balkissoon was interviewed by Matt Galloway on CBC's Metro Morning, take a listen. Sadly, the podcast doesn't include the part where he says the blog has a wonderful name. Which it does, right?
My Problem With the Suburbs
/Canice Leung, who grew up in Richmond Hill: "Here are two events in my life that explain urban planning in Richmond Hill: 1. The time I was 14 and tried to visit the local bike shops to buy a bike. 2. The two separate incidences, at the same York Region Transit bus stop, in which I had two men, in two separate incidents, show me their penises."
Read MoreMissin' Mississauga
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Romantic nostalgia for the 905? Yes indeed, via Chantal Braganza: "Want to watch 25-year-olds live out their 2001 dreams of The Fast and the Furious in neon-lit cars with wire spoilers? Wendy’s, Hurontario and Britannia. Or some helmeted daredevil stand on the handles of a motorcycle as he (or she, never found out) rips down Dundas at 140 km/h? Tim Hortons, Dundas and Winston Churchill. Make-out point? Wherever you could park a car."
Read MoreOne vote for the 'burbs
/Today's Downtown vs. Suburbs post comes via Simon Yau, who advocates for life north of Eglinton: "I love my Costco membership. I love living in a spacious house. I love the silent privacy of my street. I love eating meals for $4 at Chinese food courts. I love being close to an Ikea. I love free parking. And to top it off, I could care less about bike lanes."
Read More
